It seems that nowadays, there is a new type of "girl" as often as we get our nails done. I mean, who can keep up with these monthly personality swaps? I'm all about being yourself and just emulating total it-girl vibes however you want to emulate that. Like, be hot and be you and run the world your own way, with a style you like and a face cream that actually works for you and wasn't just promoted by a brand's really great social media manager.
So many trends have been running through our feeds like they are training for a marathon, and it's exhausting! There's green juice girl, pink pilates princess, coconut girl, pink Goyard tote bag girl, stargirl, vanilla girl, and the list goes on and on. I mean, by the time I will have posted this article, there will probably already be a new type of girl.
But it's January 1st, so new year, new you, right? But that doesn't mean just running from one aesthetic to the next and then looking back at yourself in two months and think, "what was I thinking?!" I remember one time I was getting a chai with one of my girlfriends and I was telling her all about this girl who I think I should be and who I wanted to be but then after talking about her I realized I really wasn't that girl and I wasn't being that girl for me, I was doing it for someone else. And a month later she asked me how it was going being that girl and I said, "that's so over I don't even know who I was when I was telling you that." So skip that phase and focus on finding yourself because finding yourself and being yourself is so important.
And I want to preface this by saying I'm all for experimenting, and I'm all for following trends. I don't want you to read this and think you must drop everything you love. If a new trend came out and you really really resonated with it and thought, "wow, this is the person I want to be," then, by all means, go all out and become that person. I'm all for change, and I'm all for growth.
But if you've been feeling like you are in a loop with no idea who you really are or who you really want to be, then that's when you need to take a break from keeping up with all these "aesthetics" and reflect on what you love. And in the end you may find out the person you want to be is totally different from all these trends or you might find that wow you really are a pink pilates princess!
So here are my tips and ideas for how you can figure out who you are and who you want to be this year and how you can reflect that into your everyday life.
How controversial: I want you to get away from all these different girl aesthetics on Pinterest, but I want you to make a Pinterest board.
But this time, you aren't making a board based on a color or flavor or whatever. It's based on you.
You can call your board "2023 me" or "me" or "who I want to be" or literally anything else, it doesn't really matter.
I want you to add pins now, but here is where my thinking is a bit different than others. I don't want you to add pins that reflect who you think you are, because if you are reading this there is a good chance you don't really know who you are (I know there was a point for me where I was in your exact shoes). Anyways, create this board and add pins that reflect who you want to be. In your wildest dreams, who are you? You may have to really sit with this question before you start, but I want you to play with it loosely and let these pins and ideas change and grow. After an hour, your board will look totally different at the top and the bottom as you keep digging into who you want to be.
And it is simple pieces that are going to create this new and true you. It's the really small details that you think aren't going to be important that really are.
So, who is this you? Let's get into that.
Feel free to start adding pins you already have that you just love to this board to create this dream girl. But if you are looking for some ideas on who this you is, I have some pin ideas for you.
Ask yourself these questions and pin some pins based on your answers:
What's her favorite color? Even more than that, why is that her favorite color? Does she love the color red because she loves lipstick and french music and dark candlelit restaurants? Is her favorite color pink? Why? Who is the girl that likes the color pink?
What's her favorite seasons? What does she like about that season? Does she like this season because it's her favorite color?
How does she spend the first 30 minutes of her morning right after waking up? Maybe she journals, maybe she makes green juice, maybe she has a fresh croissant from the bakery across from her apartment where she sits and looks at the Eiffel tower. Pin some pictures that reflect this answer.
What's her coffee order? Iced, hot? Is it with almond or oat milk? Maybe it's matcha. Does she exclusively order from Starbucks or small coffee shops?
Continue to ask yourself questions like this and reflect on them. If you love animals, show that. If you love lace and ruffles, show that. And remember, it has to be what you love, not what someone told you to love.
Now let's get into clothes because it's me so, of course, I'm going to talk about clothes.
Now it's time to find your style, because that's so important and I have a few ways I want you to do it.
Start with adding pictures of outfits that girls you love were wearing. Maybe you love the minimal grunge of Kate Moss in the 90s or maybe you love Bella Hadid's off duty looks. Whatever or whoever, just add some ideas.
Once you did that, examine those pictures and find what individual pieces you really love. Maybe you love Bella's shoes. Or you notice you pinned a lot of pictures of girls in a black tube top. Or maybe you love that oversized vintage leather jacket. But you also really like summer dresses. Find those favorite things and start to just add some of those pins You'll notice after a bit that you have started to create a style that you love with pieces that are 100% curated to you.
I've been telling you it's all about being yourself, but that doesn't mean you can't love the aesthetic and vibe of other it-girls. In fact, I think it's important to have some it girls that you love and take inspo from.
So find these girls and start to pin them. Maybe it's Madison Beer, maybe it's Mila Kunis in Black Swan, it literally doesn't matter.
Once you've found those people and those vibes find similarities and go back to those questions from earlier.
Ok, pause. Here is where my thinking is controversial but you just have to go with it. It's also different than most advice you would get but whatever, this is The It Girl Guide, I'm giving you the guide on how to be an it girl.
I know I told you to look within yourself and find who you are, and you did that. But to learn who the girl you want to be is and how she would act and live and dress, you need to branch out and look around.
I'm not telling you to look at what Kendall Jenner does and to copy her to a T, because that's what people think they need to do and that's where everyone is wrong.
But pick these girls you love and take little your favorite bits from everyone to create your individual it-girl. What would Bella Hadid order at a coffee shop? Maybe the dream you would order that too. How does Kendall Jenner walk down the street? Maybe the dream you walks like that.
Ask yourself, what would they do? But pick and choose. That's the difference. Maybe you like Madison Beers outfits but not her shoes. Pick and choose. Maybe you like Bella Hadid's energy but not her outfits. Pick and choose. Or maybe you like some of Bella's outfits but not others. Pick and choose.
And then take the things you picked and add them to your board.
Now that you have a bunch of pins filled with the girl you want to be, just scroll through them and look and observe and edit. And keep adding ideas throughout the year.
And now that you have this board that you truly feel emulates you and who you want to be: forget everything I just told you. Ignore it. Don't ask yourself what Kate Moss would do. Don't walk like Kendall Jenner. Don't buy a shirt just because on of your it-girls did.
Now, you are probably thinking, "What the f***?! I just got the hang of this thing and now I'm supposed to throw it all away?" The answer is yes. Throw it all away except for that board, because here is how things are going to go from now on.
When you don't know what coffee to order or which shirt to wear, or what your favorite color should be, open that board. And scroll through it. Then ask that question again.
Instead of asking, "would Devon Lee Carlson buy this shirt?" look at this board perfectly curated to YOU and ONLY YOU and ask yourself, "would she buy this shirt?"
That's the new answer. Because now you are asking the most perfect it girl in the world these questions, and you have the answer to every. Single. One.
If you need help starting somewhere, you can always look at my Pinterest or the TIGG Pinterest for ideas! And if you ever feel lost in who you are or who you want to be, remember that that's what TIGG is here to help you with!